Testing times...

I used to joke with The Bear that he's got more baggage than the lost and found section of Heathrow Terminal 5. This week...after five years of 'knowing' this man, I realised it wasn't a joke.

The Bear is not a bad person, but he has his demons. Who doesn't? His main cross is his mood. Over the years he had periods of big high and lows, but in last few years has been fairly consistent.

We've split up, got back, split up got back. The last time we had a real long time apart - six months. We agreed to see whomever we wanted and if in that time we realised we were meant to be...we'd stick at this for life.

he lasted a month and wanted us to crack on...I strung it out for another five months!

We got back together. We talked of having a family. We agreed neither of us are getting any younger. We knew what we wanted and believed we were a good time. We *are* a good team. He gets me and vice versa. We have fun. Share the same values....and the sex is fantastic. He listens. I console. I'm the cleaner he's the gadget dude.

We learned we're becoming parents. We were both stunned it happened so quickly -  within 12 weeks. We figured it may take a good year.

We live seperately but in and out of each others houses. I'm buying my parents out of a property and moving next door. The Bear is fine with this, financially it makes most sense and means we'll own our (v large) home (with huge garden!) sooner rather than later, which gives us flexibility in the future.

But for some reason he had a funny turn....not sure how he'll cope, comparing himself to his own father, comparing himself to my father...and going all distant.....


It really frustrated me and i'm not the sort to be mothering a grown man - i can do support no problem - but he's gotta pick himself up by the boostraps.

We had a huge row about it. I went to my Booking appt on my own - my choice. We talked it out afterwards.

We're speaking....just about! We can still laugh. He says he's going to be there for me. He says he wants this to work. I told him him he can't do his distant moody thing now...hes gotta be in it or stay away for life, but I'm not doing the back and forth bit.

I really hope this is just a bump in the road.

Sorry for the random whinge..........