Oh mother, did you have to?!

Right, I promised myself I wouldn't post a 'rant thread', but it's got to be done!


A dear family friend (we're more like siblings) and his wife are expecting their second child. Bubba number one, little cutie isn't even a year old yet!


How did I find out? Through mum bless her. Later my dear ol' ma who is nattering away on the phone to my sort of sis in law, finds me, thrusts the phone in my hand and says "it's P wish her congrats!"


Cue me going through the congrats, how far gone etc chat. P then moans she hasn't seen me in ages and now we're meeting up to go shopping....no doubt baby stuff will be included!

Is it awful to say I'm already thinking of cancelling?


I am soooo happy for them and P had an mc before her bubba arrived, so it's lovely for her but maaaaan alive.....it'd be nice to have a bit of baby dust chucked my way!




It didn't help that mum said loudly on the phone, "yes...hopefully she'll be next!" (she has no idea I'm ttc)

Petty whinge over. That is all. 

January 2012

This month starts off much better than the last one ended!

The Bear and I have talked. Talked more openly than we have done in ages.

Sex - How to do it

The concept of 'trying new positions' was lost on John & Jane....

Doggy style, missionary, spooning, scissors.... firstly why do some sexual positions sound like the contents of my cutlery drawer! Secondly, there are a myriad of ways to get your rocks off.

Sex - when to do it

No pressure or anything, right!

Sex, nookie, doing the deed, playing 'hide the sausage', bump and grind, how's your father, bonking, baby dancing (uh-huh a bit off!) whatever you call it, it's the number one thing you need to be doing to make your baby.... and you need to time it right!

Pills, pills, pills....

Tablets...mmm, yum(!)

I was amazed at the range of pills, potions, tablets, herbal remedies promoted for couples on the TTC journey....it's truly astounding!

If like me, you're not a big fan of tablets, rest assured there are easier ways to get your body in tip-top condition!

Ovulation signs - say ahh

Copyright (c) <a href='http://www.123rf.com'>123RF Stock Photos</a>

Another way to check when you're ovulating is to take your temperature on a daily basis.
This is often referred to as BBT (Basal Body Temperature).

Ovulation signs - the test told me

A simple way to accurately pinpoint your ovulation is to take a test.

Also called an OPK - or Ovulation Predictor Kit. 

It looks exactly like a home pregnancy test.

The 'kit' bit is confusing as there's no special equipment!

Ovulation signs - mucus

So, you know the basics about why, when and how an egg is released.

This post shows you how to tell it's happened.

First things first.
The day you ovulate can change from cycle to cycle.
The more regular you are, the easier it is to tell.
If your periods vary greatly from month to month it's hard to pinpoint.

This is why it's useful to record ovulation signs or use a test.

Options:

Rummage in your drawers.
Not not those drawers, your knickers!
You may notice discharge on your pants or after going to the toilet on the tissue. Your partner may notice you're very wet at certain times of the month. This is cervical mucus.


We secrete mucus throughout our cycles. Depending on the type of mucus it serves different uses, including
1) prevent foreign bodies causing an infection.
2) prepare the womb for keeping a baby
3) give sperm a helping hand to make a baby

The rough pattern from start to end cycle is this:
After period - dry
Creamy
Lotion
Runny / Watery
Clear / slippery / stretchy / egg white.

This can vary - but egg white is what you're after for baby making
.
On the run up to your fertile period it may be runny / watery. When you ovulate or close before, it should resemble egg white (often referred to as ewcm), it's clear, stretchy and if placed between your fore finger and thumb should stretch without breaking.
This is the good stuff! It helps the sperm swim along more easily.

The vagina is usually hostile to sperm (sperm are foreign bodies after all) and is designed to kill them (aww, poor swimmers!). Think of ewcm as a red carpet with a special guide to show them the way serving champagne and canapes!

It also allows sperm to live longer - up to five days.

Once ovulation is over, your mucus will turn creamy or dry.

More about mucus

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/preconception/suspectingaproblem/mucusexpert/

Not sure what cervical mucus looks like?
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/photo_galleries/what-cervical-mucus-looks-like/

Ovulation signs - agony and ecstasy

Ovulation signs may leave you oohing and ahhing for different reasons!

How do you like your eggs.....?

Copyright (c) <a href='http://www.123rf.com'>123RF Stock Photos</a>

Fertilised please!

here's a breakdown of ovulation. This is the crucial bit of your cycle.

Baby girls are born with their entire collection of eggs. Whereas men continuously produce sperm throughout their lifetime.

Once puberty / menses start an egg is released each month, waiting to be fertilised. If it's not fertilised we lose it with our period,

When is an egg released?

• Roughly halfway through your cycle. 10 - 17 days before your next period.

How is it released?

• Prior to the egg release, your body produced large amounts of a chemical called LH (lutenising hormone). LH is always present in the body, but increases for a short period, to sends a message 'release the egg!'.

Where is it released?

• The egg is released from your ovary. You have two. One on each side of your body. The follicles containing eggs mature and the strongest egg pops out.

Where does it go?

• Floats up into the fallopian tubes, which are located just above your ovary.

What happens next?

• The egg hangs out, creating a 'come catch me' scent for sperm.

Here's the scary bit...

• The egg is only viable for 24 hours. Think of it like waiting for a date. 
• She (the egg) won't hang around too long. She's sent out the signals (scent) to encourage the sperm. 
• If the sperm is not there within 24 hours....too late! She's gone.

So spermies listen up....turn up on time....us ladies hate waiting!

I'll explain how you can tell the egg is about to drop.....

Body basics - All about Sperm.....

Picture from Conceive Plus website.

They are pretty darn fantastic.....

Sperm are continuously produced and it takes about 60 days for stocks to mature, however there is always a ready supply.

I guess there is a reason for men have a cheeky tug !


Each ejaculate contains about 200 million sperm...yet it only takes one to do the job!

Sperm can live for on average a day or two inside a womans body. Sometimes even up to five days, if the environment is friendly enough (egg white cervical mucus).

Advice for your fella:

• Take a men's supplement that includes zinc - this will improve the quality of his sperm.
• Avoid hot baths, resting his laptops on his crotch, wearing tight pants - these increase the temperature of his testes and diminish sperm quality. 
• Smoking, drugs, heavy alcohol use all ruin the sperm, making them slow, lazy, unable to swim in correct direction or with strange development e.g. two heads etc. Cut these out or down!

By the way, if you're a bloke reading this:
Your balls should be nice and cool....and no, you can't get away with asking your partner to blow on them for TTC purposes...nice try!

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-great-sperm-race/4od


http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6904551n&tag=mncol;lst;4

Body basics - Womens' Stuff

Our bodies are amazing...truly amazing! I now realise what Mrs Mac my biology teacher was banging on about in sex ed...I was too busy sniggering to pay attention at the time!

If you've forgotten, here's a breakdown of getting knocked up.

The Womans bits....

• The length of your monthly cycle is calculated from day 1 of your period, through to the day before  you start your next period.

• Our monthly cycles are divided into two halves.

1. The first half (Follicular Phase) starts from the first day of your period up to ovulation (when you pop an egg).
2. The second half (Luteal Phase) runs from day after ovulation to the day before your period.

During the  first half:

• Your body is gearing up to pop an egg.
• A message is sent to your ovaries to get that egg ripe and ready. 
• This message causes an increase in LH (lutenising hormone), which in turn causes your follicles to release a mature egg.
• Ovulation takes place roughly 10-16 days before your next period. So if you have a cycle of say 28 days, you could expect to ovulate somewhere between day 12 and day 18 of your cycle
• This egg is wafted up into your fallopian tubes, where it waits for or hopes to come across some sperm.

During the second half (also known as the 'two week wait' to find out if pregnant):

• The day you ovulate can change from month to month, but the length of your luteal phase usually remains the same.
• This is why, sometimes your period seems early or late - it's not. It arrived on time, but you ovulated earlier or later than usual.
• Your womb lining is nice and thick.
• Hopefully your egg is being fertilised, making it's way to the uterus and getting snuggled in.
• If it doesn't you'll have your period.
• If it does, you should get a Big Fat Positive (BFP) on your pregnancy test!

GUM....not the Wrigleys kind....

"Well, you can't say I never give you anything"

Having made the decision to TTC, OH and I thought it would be a good idea to get tested for any STDs. A woman in my babycentre group recommended it too.

I've never done this before. Quite embarrassing really given I'm 35.


Incase you think you don't need to...
STIs and simple infections are common reasons for infertility. Chlamydia can cause infertility and has no symptoms. It would be heart breaking to know your TTC journey could have been quicker, had you got tested.
It's quick and easy.


So off I trotted to my local GUM.

It was very discreet in our new local hospital. It's named after a person 'e.g. the fred blog clinic', so not embarrassing if you need to ask for directions in the hospital.
Arriving at reception i was asked if i'd been here before.
"No!" very defensively...silly me.
The receptionist was very warm and soothing in her tone - probably figured I was nervous. Although the beads of sweat probably gave it away!
I was asked to take a seat, given a form and a clipboard to put my name, address, GP details (if I wanted to) and mobile number and which tests I want done. I ticked the 'all the above' box.

The waiting area was blocked off cleverly and men and women were in different areas.

Form filled in, you're given a small card with clinic contact details and your unique ID number. You use this to obtain your results and thank goodness the staff call you by the number - not your name.

Next step - I was called in to speak with a doctor. Nice woman who asked why I wanted to be tested. I simply said I'd never done this before, it was about time and I'm planning on having children. A few questions about my lifestyle, e.g. ever taken drugs, has my partner slept with a man ('er, if he has he's kept that quiet!), then she gave me a small sample pot to have a wee in and wait in reception.

Now here's the funny bit. In the toilet there's a small hatch to drop your sample in! You don't need to hand it to anyone, brilliant!


Next step was to wait to be called for blood test.
Again this was quick and easy, i was in and out within two minutes. Blood test took seconds.

Then I was told to wait 10 working days.
If they find an infection I'll get a phone call.
If not, I won't hear anything, but can call if I want to.

I rang after 10 days - and was given my results. All clear! Hurrah!


Get yourself checked out. If you've ever had unprotected sex, be it a crazy random one night stand or only in a loving relationship...it's worth the piece of mind.


And it's easy and free! (you're making your own jokes up here aren't you!)

NHS info on Visiting a GUM clinic

Beginners guide to TTC

Having made the decision, if you're like me, you're probably thinking...where do I start?

Basic ingredients:

• A loving partner
• Lots of sex (preferably good quality sex)
• A good helping of patience (this recipe may take a while to cook)
• Healthy body
• Healthy lifestyle
• Sensible support network (note: frenemies do not count!)

A Loving Partner:

The Bear (my OH) can wind me up something chronic! But he's also my best friend and a good guy. We think alike so that makes life easy. This journey can test a relationship, so be sure to have someone who's a team player on your side.


Lots of sex
Nuff said!


Patience
If you've spent most of your adult life avoiding pregnancy, it can be a shock to realise how long it takes. Expect to try for up to a year if you're under 35 and six months if you're over 35. If you're not pregnant within that timeframe, time to chat with your GP.

NHS Choices - Fertility info



Healthy Body & Lifestyle
Lots of common sense really. if you smoke - now's the time to stop, it'll only be harder once pregnant. if OH smokes, quitting will improve his sperm.
Couch potato? Start introducing some movement into your life.
Coffee addict - cut down to one per day , decaff or stop.
Junk food addict - enjoy your treats but introduce a variety of fresh foods where you can.
Supplements can also help - make sure they're specific to pregnancy or conception.

Support network

Shameless plug: Babycentre.co.uk is a great resource, with information, tips, articles, and a very active on-line network for every stage from TTC to parenting.
Tip - choose a username you are happy to be seen publicly and will last throughout your journey, as you can't amend it. i.e. trying for number 1 will look silly once you've 3 year old twins!

I have chosen not to tell friends and family, as it's too much pressure. Once we got pregnant I'll announce it!

So, that's the basic stuff....time to start baby making!

Making the decision...

So, you've made the decision.

You're going to have a baby, or at least get lots of practice making one!

The question is often asked: "When is a good time?"

The answer is invariably "Oh, there's never a good time", "You never know how long it will take"

So, if you're reading this I won't bore you with when is a good time. You're grown up enough to know when is the right time.

So, I'll simply say this....

If you're:

• About to be sent to prison
• Are under 18
• Using drugs and drinking heavily.
• The 'Octomum'
• Can't remember the name of the man you're sleeping with

Now is not the right time!

Anything else.....you can find a way :)

Is it just me.....?

Or is the entire world having children?!

There are pregnant women everywhere....Facebook, twitter, on the tube, on the bus, presenting TV programmes....everywhere!!

OK, my point is a tad silly, but nonetheless, it's as though I've suddenly woken up and seen the world in a new light.


It's forced a reality check.

I'm 35, childless or child free depending on your view.

The Big Bear (that's my other half) and I decided several months ago.....

"It's time to start making babies!"

So I'm going to blog our journey, share some tips, probably say some things I wish I hadn't and hopefully learn how to Bake a Bun!

Come join me....it beats playing solitare!